The core need of a human being is to be accepted, so rejection is the one thing that
singlehandedly demolishes your most important need in life.
Rejection could have been prevalent from as soon as birth, or even in vitro. Were you
‘unplanned’? Did your parents not want you? Was your father disappointed that you were a girl,
and not a boy? Were you given up for adoption or did your parents abandon you?
It could also have crept in during your early childhood. Perhaps your mother/father abandoned
you, they went through an ugly divorce where they placed you in the midst of all the fighting or
maybe you moved a lot and could never form solid friendships at school.
As a teenager your first love may not have appreciated your love as much as you wanted him to.
Or perhaps your peers (and even your family) could not accept your ‘uniqueness’ and bullied you
as a result of it.

As a young adult your friends may have rejected you, you may have had one disastrous
relationship after the other, maybe you were not able to get a job, and the list goes on.
Now let’s fast forward to your wedding. If any of the things mentioned above happened in your
life and you didn’t receive healing for it, you already had roots of rejection when you started your
marriage. Due to your old wounds you keep an eagle eye on your husband to see if he is also
going to be a tool of rejection in your life, and sometimes you even sit and wait for him to fail.
We call this projection. You take your old wounds and project it on your husband. He has lost the
battle from the get-go because you await the day that you can judge him as soon as he makes
one fleshly mistake. And sometimes he doesn’t even make mistakes on purpose, but his
personality is just of such a nature that you can interpret what he did as rejection (but that isn’t
really what he meant by his action). You then make him pay the price for things that other people
did to you.
A familiar open door of rejection is when you are attracted to men who reject you even further,
because that is all you have ever known. Women who have had more than one marriage can now
look back and discern if they have repeated the pattern. Many times women walk in their
mothers’ broken footsteps and make all the mistakes that they did in their marriage/s. We call
this a bloodline curse and it must be broken, otherwise you are going to have the same lonely
walk for the rest of your life – and possibly your own daughters and their daughters too.
Then there are instances where a woman was really doing fine, and the marriage might have
been wonderful at the beginning – until the day her husband suddenly started to become critical
or absent. In such cases, she may initially think that her husband is just going through a ‘thing’,
but if his behaviour persists, she soon enough takes it upon herself – she must be the reason
why her husband suddenly changed, because she is no longer as beautiful as she was or she no
longer performs as well as she did. (Every woman’s inner dialogue sounds different.)