The incredible lightness of love
The incredible lightness of love
By Idalette Müller
A couple was contemplating divorce, after having grown apart after many years together. Separation seemed like the only logical option! They agreed to remain living in the same house until other arrangements could be made (which would take two months, more or less). After all, there was no animosity between them – only a seemingly impassable chasm. The wife asked the husband if he would agree to do just one thing for her while they waited for time to pass by: to carry her from the front door to the bedroom every day after he arrived home from work. The request was a bit unusual, but he agreed.
The first week passed by, and as agreed, the husband carried his wife from the front door to the bedroom. By the third day he was irritable, voicing his annoyance at the silly arrangement, while complaining that she was surprisingly heavy. Nevertheless, the ritual continued. At first, they did not look at each other as he picked her up in his arms, and there was an uncomfortable silence between them. After a couple of weeks, they started making eye contact, and even smiled at each other faintly. He noticed that she had become lighter as the weeks passed by, and she mentioned that she never knew that he was so strong and muscular. Eventually the husband started looking forward to arriving home again. They had conversations during their short trip to the bedroom, and both were surprised at how often the conversation would continue into the evening.
One day, the husband arrived home and his wife did not meet him at the front door. He was startled, wondering if she had moved out. He walked to the bedroom, surprised to find his wife in bed. She looked pale and exhausted. He sat down beside her, concerned. She told him that she was diagnosed with cancer around the same time she proposed the strange request, and that she started receiving treatment without his knowledge since then. She was hoping that she would be better by the time they parted ways, but she felt weaker than ever. He took her hand in his and gently said: “I was hoping to tell you tonight that I didn’t want a divorce anymore. While I carried you during these past weeks, something inside of me started to change. At first it felt like a heavy burden – a punishment even – and when I least expected it, I began seeing you in a different light. I was strangely starting to feel closer to you, and I realized that I never stopped loving you. I just forgot what that was like.”
I don’t know how the story ended, but I suspect the wife wanted her husband to carry her every day, while they still had time together. She knew that time was running out; a final act of love, for ‘old time’s sake’. The lesson to learn here is that time is precious. Value your spouse today because tomorrow is not promised. We often think we will sort out differences in due time or that we will talk about it later, just to avoid conflict until the time seems right to us. But the truth is that there is no better time than now to talk heart-to-heart, and to see each other in love’s light, instead of through lenses of anger, resentment, and unforgiveness.
Love makes the burden light. Love transforms. Love heals.
